"NO" for now.

Remember as a kid much of growing up felt like those in authority around us were always imposing the big "NO"?  I felt that way.  No to this, no to that, no going here, no going there, no it isn't safe, no it isn't the right time, etc etc.  Sometimes life seemed more about what I couldn't do than what I could do, and somehow that really dampened my sense of adventure and even curiosity as to the possibilities of "YES".   This brings me to where I find myself a lot of the time today.  The looming NO festers and frustrates me to the point of my feeling small and insignificant.  Over the course of my illness with all of its limitations, I have been opressed with NO.   I can no longer enjoy some of my favorite physical activities like taking long walks, hiking in various terrains, and enjoying my beloved Irish step dancing.  I can't eat certain foods.  I can't stay up late or sleep in because if I mess up my routine, I am sure to pay the price.  Going to concerts with loud music and bright, strobing lights is out for sure. Even the movie theater experience is pretty much off limits except for a rare occasion.  You get the idea.  But most importantly, it is the people to whom I have to say NO that hurts the most.   Forever cancelling plans or asking kindly to see if they can be rearranged at the ninth hour is an all too familiar scenerio.   My dear family and closest friends "get it" and cheer me on and work with my ongoing limitations, but this gets old. I feel like a big disappointment and wet blanket to those I love.  However, my lovely and wise cranial sacral therapist reminded me to put it in the perspective of "NO, for now."   What a difference three words can mean---  NO.FOR.NOW.   Let's look at it one day at a time and go from there.  My days might not forever be filled with so many limitations and NO's.  It just seems so during this present time of struggle. 

This journey is teaching me about patience.  Is this an understatement or what?  How can I be more gentle and kind to myself?  When is it necessary to take an account of how I am truly feeling and impose a self-made NO?  There are times when my body either physically, mentally, or emotionally simply cannot carry on with what is being asked of it, and so, the only sensible and compassionate response is NO to anything further.  Simple.  Absolutely not!!  However, I am a work in progress through God's Grace.  The amazing and beautiful unfolding of actually choosing NO is that I am realizing it gives room for a greater opportunity for YES!  How cool is that?  I can enjoy another event or outing or some form of physical exercise if I allow myself to say NO when my body needs me to in response to a hard day. 

You may be in the midst of grieving over a loved one, caring for a sick or dying loved one, dealing with grave financial concerns, living in chronic pain and or depression, or any number of life issues that are burdening you with many NO's right now.  I understand how utterly devastating that can feel.  I would suggest trying to look at the perspective of "No for now" and breathe deeply and slowly.  Take it one day or one moment at a time and be gentle with yourself. Be open to accepting help if offered from someone who is trying to lighten your load because it could allow space for the greater 

hope of a YES.  Besides, it provides others the beautiful opportunity to offer their gifts in time of need.  

 Try and look forward to the next YES that God has ready for you just around the corner.  It is an exciting YES!  He loves us and wants to bless us.