I am pleased to share that I am crossing over into a new season, one of which for now, seems to be a season of light and soul refreshment. I am ever so slowly coming up for air and moving on in my life of new normals. I don't feel as stuck or angry or fearful as I emerge from my darkness. I am finally "exhaling" and relaxing while leaning into God's amazing grace. I still from time to time wrestle with Him when I become overwhelmed, but I know that the wrestling means I am embracing His mercy and love all the more.
This new season of which I am finding myself is one I call, unsettled-ness. Quite simply, my body and emotions are feeling somewhat strange and unsettled. In addition to the usual, daily management of living with chronic M and all which that entails, my family life continues to experience transitions as well.
Some are major ones, some minor. Life doesn't stand still while chronic illness takes a front seat. My entire family is affected in some form---for better and for worse.
Our young, adult sons are at various stages of independence which means they are still requiring guidance and nurturing---and possibly a home base with a bed and a fridge full of food! Lol! Changing jobs and residences and chasing new hopes and dreams all bring about unsettled-ness. Hubby and I are empty-nesters one year and not the next. His work place is undergoing some major reorganization of which the outcome is not yet certain. Our extended family members are plodding through some tough, uphill challenges of their own due to health issues and stage of life transitions. More unsettled-ness.
In this particular season, my family and I will learn new ways of adapting and growing together. We will figure out how to best help one another. Some days will be easier than others, but that is to be expected. Participating fully in all that this season has to offer will be my focus. There will be unexpected sorrows and joys and blessings along the way.
And there is always Holy in the Hard.
And miracles in the mess.