Giving praise before the breakthrough

Friends, I don't have to rehash the obvious.  This ongoing pandemic has been a huge burden to each and everyone of us in some shape or form.  Last year's Thanksgiving gathering was full of fear and unpredictability, and it meant many were alone and sad.  It was a situation that was impossible to really "fix."  Finding gratitude in those anxious-filled moments with few loved ones side by side was not easy.  It was more likely a prayer coming from the depths of our souls that might have felt hollow.  

The uncertainty of this virus and how it affects our lives has remained so even a year later.  We live a new normal which still feels strange, and behind our masks, there is a disconnect which can be uncomfortable.  Thankfully, we have vaccinations and good medical research to help us live better and take care of one another.

This year, hopefully, our Thanksgiving gathering of family and friends will carry less of a burden, and instead, more joy and laughter.  A positive focus is good, but many people are still grieving the loss of loved ones which has happened over the course of the unbelievably difficult year.  Hearts have been broken, and mending them will take time.

This year, as we join together, will we be able to give heartfelt praise before the long awaited breakthrough happens?  A season of suffering may be weeks that turned into months that turned into years.  In the middle of the fragile waiting, can we praise God for all of His precious gifts that He promises in His perfect timing?  More importantly, can we give ourselves grace while we try"?  

It doesn't matter if our table is "pinterest perfect" with all of the delicious traditions or the fancy dishes---no, it can look like a Charlie Brown spread with all sorts of mix-matched yummies and mix-matched guests.  The most important dish is LOVE.

Wishing you a blessed and peaceful Thanksgiving.

Blowing in. Blowing out.

 Thirty years ago my husband and I packed our belongings in Athens, GA and headed to the delightful and beautiful shoreline of Niantic, CT.  Our first son, Stefan, was barely a year old so we were exhausted new parents moving to a rental home with a baby.  Within a month or so hurricane Bob hit the East Coast with a vengeance, and we were totally unprepared for its wild and scary force of madness.  For a few days straight the storm raged with its gale force winds and torrents of rain which caused flooding in many areas of the state.  Power was interrupted for days, and I remember crying to my husband that I didn't like our new residence and wished we were back in GA.  What a crazy beginning to a new chapter of our lives that felt awkward and difficult at best.  

We survived the move and the mayhem of the hurricane and eventually settled into our new rental home.  I stayed home with our son, and my husband started his new job with Pfizer.   We found our new pace and rhythm (as much as one can with a toddler) and started making friends.  I took our son to community classes for moms and their toddlers which became a vehicle for finding my circle of support that became a lifeline.  I will be forever grateful for those kind and generous friends.  

We stayed in our rental for close to a year and then found our current home in which we have lived for thirty years.  When we moved, I was pregnant and about to give birth to our second son.  Life soon became VERY busy as we had four boys within five and a half years.  I look back on those days now, and it all seems to be a blur. Birthday parties were the best because we not only had the happy voices of our kiddos but also many other young ones of our friends.  Michael and I somehow possessed the energy needed to keep afloat which is still a mystery to us!

This home has been well lived in, and it has seen much joy and sorrow, sickness and health, and make-overs both inside and out.  It has been a blessing we could have never imagined.  Our family has formed lasting and meaningful friendships through the community, school, and church.  

Fast forward to a few days ago and our shoreline area was in the eye of hurricane Henri.  Meteorologists stated that we hadn't seen this bad of a storm since hurricane Bob thirty years ago.  We suddenly realized that was the exact storm which blew us in to CT!  Good heavens---was this a sign showing us we are to blow out of this state and head to PA?  Maybe so.

Happy and grateful to report that the storm turned and weakened from what was originally predicted for this particular region of the state so we were spared any real damage.  No flooding or high winds destroyed property or put anyone in harm's way.  Praise God.  It did not feel like the experience of Bob, but emotionally it was a tad bit unsettling.  

We are months away from leaving this home in CT, but the planning of building another home while packing and preparing to sell this one is all consuming.  The days are full of busy agendas, but having a new focus is exciting.  Thirty years ago we were busy raising children and building our lives as a young family.  Today we are writing a new chapter which will be in PA where we began our married journey.  Our hearts are happy as we will be arriving full circle in less than a year.   

Well, we have not "blown out" yet, so while we remain here in our lovely home we plan to make the most of our time visiting with friends and exploring different areas of the state we have never been.  My feet will continue to remain in the sand until someone whisks me away to the mountains and farms of PA.   For now, my heart is honoring the special space of not yet.  

We did a thing. A big thing.

Let's just say it is time for a change.  My hard-working husband has been retired for over two years, and he is basking in the goodness of retirement life.  Our daily pace has slowed down, and we are allowing the days to unfold with more flexibility and purposeful rest.  It is wonderful.  Of course, there is always a "honey to do" list that never quite ends, but the urgency of total completion is at a low simmer.

Michael enjoys his part-time consulting work because it keeps his mind in science without all the hassles and stress of full-time employment.  He can be more in control of his schedule and pace.  All in all, it is a win-win.

Surviving the rough Covid year and a half was a challenge, but our family was fortunate not to get sick except for our one son, but he had a short duration of symptoms and recovered well.  We kept ourselves occupied with some home projects that seemed to linger endlessly while discussing what the next opportunities might look like as we transition into a new season of our lives. 

We have been discerning the next right steps to take moving forward in future chapters of our life story.  The time seems right to say good-bye to one place and hello to another.  While this process will be bittersweet, we are choosing to move ahead with courage and deep gratitude.  

Opening our arms and hearts allows us to embrace a posture of creating space for new hopes and dreams.  Exciting new adventures await us on our horizon...

Forget what I wrote about our "slow pace."  We are rapidly packing up our home of thirty years in East Lyme, CT and moving back to my hometown of Boiling Springs, PA!  I will post more about our moving journey as it unfolds.  For now, this new reality seems surreal.  However, with each important decision of building a new home and all the time and energy this requires----"wow" is about all I can say for now.

My Purple Garden

 

Lisa Advocates by Wearing Purple and Communicating

Lisa advocates by wearing purple and communicating. This story is written and told by Lisa and edited by Miles for Migraine team.  Miles for Migraine’s Advocacy Stories highlights the many different ways that health advocacy shows up as individuals advocate for themselves and others. This project is not limited to migraine and other headache disorders, nor is it limited to individuals that personally experience a health condition.

Lisa Wears Purple

I consider myself a walking advocacy story and almost always visible with some sort of purple color on me. I wear purple clothing, sport purple accessories, and often have my hair streaked with a fun purple pop. Thank goodness purple just happens to be my favorite color! This was true even before I knew it was the color that represents headache and migraine awareness.

In public, no matter where I might be, such as stores or doctor offices or walking on our local boardwalk, people will stop to compliment me on my purple attire and especially my purple-streaked hair. This opens up the opportunity to explain why I wear purple in regards to migraine awareness. Invariably people are genuinely interested and curious for more information because they usually know someone who suffers from migraine disease, or sometimes they themselves do. It’s amazing how many random situations come alive with opportunities to advocate! 

For instance, when I learned that purple was the color of headache and migraine awareness, I asked my hairstylist to put a streak of purple in my hair. She was quite inquisitive about the subject of chronic migraine, so I enlightened her. It turned out that she, too, was suffering and thought she just had very bad headaches once a month. I shared my knowledge and experience which, in turn, led her to call my headache specialist for treatment! Now we both wear our hair streaked with purple to spread migraine awareness.

Lisa Advocates at her Doctor’s Office

Another practical opportunity for advocacy is every time I see a new doctor and need to fill out medical forms. I have to list my current condition of chronic migraine and all the medications I take to manage it. The medical assistant and the doctor get an earful as to the significant burden managing chronic migraine is for me, and I explain how my treatment going forward with any new medications must be viewed in light of migraine disease. Many health care workers do not realize the seriousness of disability that comes with coping with migraine disease. A patient has to first and foremost be his or her own best advocate before they can be a good advocate for the rest of society.

Lisa Advocates by Telling her Story

My best migraine advocacy stems from my ordinary, everyday experiences where I find myself in the right place, at the right time, and talking to the right people.

I felt inspired to create a migraine advocacy video that shares a little peek into my day that I might experience while dealing with a migraine attack.  It not only highlights my thoughts and feelings but demonstrates how my husband is affected as well.  My one son “plays the annoying part” of Mr. Migraine.  The short film is entitled, The Unwanted Guest.  It is found on YouTube under AleoMedia production.   

I wanted to share my first publication of my migraine advocacy journey to which  I have been committed for several years now.  If any of you follow me on social media, you are well aware that June is headache and migraine awareness month and the color associated with this cause is purple.  I like to spread my pops of purple anywhere and everywhere. Thank you for always supporting and encouraging me with kindness and compassion.  

Unfortunately, the reality of migraine disability looks and feels like this

and this.        

If I have to cancel plans, please do not take it personally.  It is not because I want to.  It is because I need to.   I am slow.  I am tired, but I am doing my best. 

I continue my advocacy work to educate and help others by trying to erase the stigma of migraine disease.  It is so much more than "just a headache."    

Movement for an important cause

 Recently I participated in Miles for Migraine walk/run event for the purpose of raising awareness for migraine disease and the importance of funding research in this critical field.  This was my first time walking with this awesome group of migraine warriors.  Last year the events around the US were only held virtually due to the pandemic, of course.    

The morning was windy and chilly, so my husband and I bundled up in layers and soaked in the beauty of the Bushnell Park in Hartford, CT, where we joined our fellow comrades.  It was uplifting meeting others and hearing their stories of why they wanted to participate and where they are in their journey living with this disease.  Some of the MD headache fellows from my headache clinic gave their time to support our group by walking or running to raise money for research.  

I was not feeling particularly well that morning because I have been in a rough patch lately that has been lingering; the migraine monster has been VERY annoying.  However, showing up, walking with others, and feeling everyone's enthusiasm was encouraging and empowering.  It reminds me we are all on this path together, and when one person is down, hopefully, another one is up to balance the proverbial see-saw of this crazy existence.

I thank all of you who donated to Miles for Migraine this year.  I am hoping by raising awareness of this disabling disease more people will learn to participate in open and honest conversations with whom they know and love in order to better understand the real facts about living with this invisible, chronic illness.  

I will get you started.  These are facts from the American Migraine Foundation:

1) Migraine is not just a headache---a migraine attack includes a headache, but symptoms also include sensitivity to light and/or sound, nausea, depression, temporary loss of sight, visual disturbances, and more.

2) Migraine is a disabling neurological disease.  It is an inherited disease.  The genes that cause migraine makes the brain react more strongly to certain changes such as reduced sleep, changes in diet, or being dehydrated.  According to the WHO, it is in the top 7 most disabling diseases.

3) Together, we can reduce the stigma of migraine.  Migraine might be invisible, but the men, women, and children living with this disease every day are not.  It is time we all stand up and stand together to bring migraine out of the DARKNESS and into the LIGHT.

Since June is the official migraine and headache awareness month, I will post more about how myself and others navigate this wild and crazy roller coaster ride day in and day out.  It is truly by God's grace alone that I can move forward with hope and joy.

I Can See Clearly Now

 "I can see clearly now the rain has gone.  I can see all obstacles in my way..." are the familiar lyrics from the popular song by Johnny Nash.  For a few weeks, I have been singing this song quite a bit in my house.  Even my husband is starting to get annoyed.  You may have guessed, I recently had cataract surgery on both eyes at my ripe old age of soon to be 57.  I thought people in their 70's and beyond had this surgery.  Well, I never fall into the norm of things anyway.  

I knew my vision was worsening for a few years, but these past six months have proven to show a steady decline.  In our house when my husband and I watch TV shows on our rather "large" TV, he puts on the closed caption because he has annoying tinnitus which leaves him hard of hearing, and I couldn't even read the darn words because everything was blurry.  I was squinting and asking him to read the dialogue, and he was turning up the volume which became way toooo loud on commercials. What fun.   If this doesn't sound like the old folks home, I don't know what does.  

After another trip to my eye doctor, I basically couldn't read the first line below the big E clearly.  Ok, time for cataract surgery.  I must report that both procedures went smoothly, and the result is nothing short of a miracle.  My world is beautiful and bright, and now I only need "readers" to see up close.  After a trip to the local pharmacy, I am the proud owner of at least 5 different styles of readers and 2 sunglasses that actually look nice instead of the geeky huge "fit over" the glasses!  That shopping trip was the most fun I have had this entire pandemic!  Well, maybe that is a slight exaggeration.  I can even wear my clip on anti-migraine glare lenses over one of my readers for computer work.  Win win for sure!  Moral of this long story---do not hesitate to have cataract surgery done if you need it.  You won't be disappointed.  

My March Madness has not been one of watching basketball.  Instead I have had one procedure after another and lots of appointments and much coming to terms with my aging body on several different levels.  Mostly all the medical "stuff" has been worked out for which I am very grateful.  It has really left me extra tired on top of already being tired from chronic M.  As I said to my friend recently, I feel like my body and mind are constantly in a weird game of "whack-a-mole" that never really ends.  At one season or another in our lives, we are all bound to feel this way, I guess.  

This brings me to the end of March and ready to bunny hop into April as now I can see all of God's creation even more brightly than before.  I love the rebirth of Spring as I watch the the buds burst forth, hear the birds tweeting sweetly, and feel the warm sunshine on my face.  

This is Holy Week for those who celebrate the Easter Season.  We are slowly returning to church to partake of the sacraments and worship together.  What a feeling of fulfillment after a long, hard year to say the very least.  

Wishing all of you a glorious Easter celebration along with the beauty of Spring which always holds hope for better days ahead.  My husband and I are fully vaccinated now which feels pretty good, I must say.  I am exhaling now with greater ease...

Remember to take good care of yourself so you can offer your love and kindness to this hurting world.  Be well and safe, my friends.

Into my desert with joy and hope

It happened again.  I go about my usual business after the holidays with finding new routines and embarking upon fresh goals----even in this crazy pandemic year-----and then before I turn around right, here is Ash Wednesday! 

 Last year I did not attend church to receive ashes because of the pandemic scare.  My entire rhythm and flow of Lent were completely "off."  I did eventually get settled into my habits of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, but to tell the truth, the looming fear of Covid took center stage in my heart and mind.  

Since this past year felt SO heavy in many ways, I have decided to enter this holy season with real Christ-like joy and hope.  I am not talking about the world's superficial offerings; they are short-lived.  Rather, I am easing into my desert by asking God to grace me with the courage to strip myself of any false narrative that may be hindering me from fully embracing His love.  

The other day I was filling up ALL of my pill boxes with a plethora of meds as well as supplements for chronic migraine. As much as I feel discouraged at times and frustrated at the amount of prescriptions I need to take just to "manage" my condition, I realize I am fortunate to be able to have them available as well as to afford them. 

If I take these necessary pills and shots and do so with a grateful attitude then I am joyful in my heart and spirit. It erases the negativity that is so easy to fall into such as the feeling of being "old" and sick. (My days feeling young and healthy are pretty much gone.) Letting go of "what if I get worse and the meds will stop working someday" is a fear I must release so I can remain hopeful. Experiencing certain flare ups with a very grouchy head and body requires a strong mindset that allows me time and time again to stay strong and ride the waves until I reach the calm seashore of which I eventually do. My attitude and perspective regarding all aspects of living with chronic migraine must be respected and honored as I walk forward day by day.  

Making my spiritual journey into Lent sometimes seems like a dark unknown, but I have forty days to walk towards the Light of the Resurrection.  Each year is a new experience filled with a holy expectation of God's love and mercy.  It is joyful.  It is hopeful.  It is peaceful.  

May your special time in the desert lead you to a place of renewed faith, joy, and hope especially knowing God will give you rest and calm for your weary souls.  

 @thegracealliance

Rising Again

Our much anticipated new year is upon us, and I venture to guess we are excited to jump in and experience the exciting new possibilities that await us.  However, I believe it is safe to say that maybe we came crawling into this new year with depleted energy on so many levels.  I certainly have.  

For me, surprisingly so, January slipped by in a blur and here it is February.  It has been nearly one year since we have been stuck in this heart wrenching  pandemic mode--- a living nightmare with our deep political divide and much social unrest. While vaccinations are available now and treatment plans are in place, fresh hope is surrounding our sorrowful souls.  Yet there is SO much work to be done.   I ask myself how may I best be part of the healing story?

Living with chronic migraine continually prepares me when life gets extra confusing and spicy.  I can honestly say that my adaptability and flexibility are easier to tap into because I rely on these two important traits to maneuver through many crazy, painful, and exhausting days.  

I stretch and open up my body physically, mentally, and spiritually knowing:

1---I cannot control my environment most of the time, but I can control how I respond to it.

2---I feel "all the feelings" even when they are uncomfortable.

3---I remind myself that I cannot predict how others will respond to my thoughts or actions.

4---I adjust my boundaries according to what my body feels it can handle day by day and even hour by hour.  My chronic migraine is extremely unpredictable and unreliable but "I" am not.  It is the disease that is.  

5---It is very important to create daily time for spiritual rituals like silence, meditation, and prayer to help me stay grounded.  Moving my body gently is so helpful such as in a yoga practice and or walking outside in the fresh air.  Living near the beach is a win win in my book!

6---I trust my tribe and confide my true feelings about how I am feeling day to day.

7---I enjoy reaching out to others in the community, especially online at the present, so I can continue my advocacy work which gives me purpose for my outreach mission.

8---Accept that some days I need to rest ALL day just to reset my tired body and feel refueled once again.  This important resting IS productive.  

9---It is perfectly acceptable to grieve when situations do not turn out the way I had hoped for them to.   Life moves on. 

10----Most importantly, I do my best to live with joyful gratitude for all of my blessings.

These tidbits not only help me to cope day to day but they also help me gain a perspective in coping with some of the larger life issues we still face at the present.  Maybe some of these insights might resonate with you.  I hope so.

I try and offer others heartfelt grace and then give myself some too.  New year, new opportunities to help one another in the healing process as our reality with separated physical contact continues.  In the words of author, Glennon Doyle, "we can do hard things."   Yes, we can!!