My Lament

 As we step forward into a new year, usually it is marked with some kind of renewed energy and an intentional awareness to see the goodness and brightness of a new beginning no matter what the previous year held.  A shared feeling of hope and possibly even excitement keeps us reaching for the light especially after nature's long and dark winter solstice. 

Unfortunately this year for me is feeling very different. Watching tragedy after tragedy unfold around the globe like fires and wars and continual scenarios of suffering and distress, my sense of inner calm is certainly being tested.  The older I become, the more my heart aches for those in need. The depth of woundedness is pervasive. I offer help in ways that are possible but never feel like it is enough. I lament.

As I watch our nation fall under the "leadership" of a vengeful, narcissistic, and disrespectful person, I reel in disbelief, and I certainly lament. His behavior and the actions of his co-conspirators are deplorable. However, I know full well we can only control our own individual responses to circumstances and never those of others. Very often I need to be reminded of that.

I am barely processing this election situation and its fallout which will be a new and scary reality. For those individuals who are hurt, scared, and don't feel worthy of love, I see you and am sorry. In my opinion, I think we can all agree there is SO much healing to be done on SO many levels of everyday circumstances. Let's lean into listening more closely to those around us even when the conversations might make us feel a bit uncomfortable for the sake of compassion and understanding. 

I continue to pray for hope and peace daily because God is in charge no matter what. Will you join me?   

In the beautiful words of one of my favorite poets, John O' Donohue, he writes in his Benedictus:A book of Blessings

                        "May I live this day

                         Compassionate of heart, 

                         Clear in word,

                         Gracious in awareness,

                         Courageous in thought,

                        Generous in love."

I think this little prayer says it all.  

                                       

Farewell to Summer

 As the longer days of summer fade and nature starts its preparation for fall, the rhythm and flow of September is marked mostly by "back to school" themes and the anticipation of "busier" times ahead. If not prepping kids for school or attending school yourself, many new projects are on the horizon and can get started this time of year. The transition can still be a subtle one as the warmer days remain while the excitement of everything pumpkin and apples allows the thoughts of decorating and eating.  yummm. 

As my particular summer comes to a close, I reflect upon it as I do every season before stepping into a new one. June was a month of various activities and gatherings and lots of migraine advocacy which kept me busy. July became unbearably hot and humid for me, and my head and body were not the happiest of campers. I stayed inside the AC and ventured out for walks in the later evenings after our area cooled down a bit. The sunsets over the farmlands are peaceful and gorgeous.

August is nearing its completion, and I love to notice nature on the cusp of the next season. Pausing and noticing ground me and keep me focused on the daily presence of of the divine within me. It is a practice I began as I started my long healing journey with CM, and it comforts me to this day. 

This fall my hubby and I have college friends coming to visit, and we are so excited about hosting! In October we have a fun get-a-way planned to a new area so there will be lots of noticing for sure as we allow the freshness of different scenery to fill us. I will share some pictures and stories in a blog after we return.

Here is a sweet poem I discovered about the close of summer  by Patricia A Fleming

                                                The Summer's End

"The familiar rhythm of the cricket's chirps

create the soundtrack of each day.

Echoing Summer's end

And that Autumn is on her way...

And sharing all our hopes and dreams

As the future stirs us on.

Knowing as we sit on that late, August eve,

Summer's ending but her memory lives on..."

May this transition from summer to autumn be a smooth one filled with peace and grace.

                                                          

The joy of a rainbow

 "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change the things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution."

                                                                            Maya Angelou

When I saw a double rainbow in the sky the other week while walking in our lovely neighborhood, I tried to capture it with my phone camera. And while it is a fun thing to try to photograph, the picture can be a bit underwhelming. Unfortunately, a quick snap shot does not really do it justice. Standing in its colorful presence and taking an intentional pause to experience its beauty is what feels emotionally uplifting. 

While walking, I became aware of other neighbors who were both on foot as well as those stepping out of their homes to take pictures with their cell phones. It gave us the opportunity to talk about the beauty of its presence over our houses. The rainbow faded after a few minutes, but we all kept looking up and telling others to do the same. In some ways, it seemed as if no one had ever seen one before. 

In our world today so fraught with dissension, impatience, intolerance, and just plain meanness, let us try to be that beautiful rainbow in someone else's life because we all need to feel hope after the storm.

Offering HOPE through advocacy

As migraine awareness month comes to a close, I will share a few thoughts from my book, "Climbing My Matterhorn".  It is difficult to choose highlights, but since I have been relaying facts about migraine disease on social media all of June, I thought I would conclude with my personal perspective.

"In my humble opinion, the best way to understand our own journey of pain is to step into or alongside someone else's pain for a period of time. This unique perspective gives important insights into the same universal similarities and truths we all endure while walking our journeys. Our individual crosses are unique to us, but we can cope and persevere much in the same way together, which provides us with a united feeling of hope. This is what we are truly searching for, right? HOPE is never to be underestimated. Collectively, we can help one another deliver hope into the hearts and hands of those who need it---which means all of us at one time or another. 

This is the real reason I wrote my story. I knew my story mattered. It is important, and it is meant to be shared to offer hope and encouragement for others facing uphill journeys of a chronic disease---specifically, life with chronic migraine...I knew if I could ease the burden of one person's load, then writing my story would be totally worth it. This is my gift to the universe."

"Life is hard. Life is messy. Life is beautiful."

Climbing into a new decade

The BIG 60---gulp! For several months before turning 60 in April, I was having my share of little freak outs.  Sounds silly, but for some reason, I could not fathom facing a new decade.  To me, 60 just sounded "old".  It is all a matter of perspective with many complex factors involved.  People say that it is "just a number" and "who really cares"? Statements like those are relatively true, but I gave myself permission to muse in disbelief. 

My 50's decade was marred by the fact I spent much of it in a horizontal posture on the couch instead of vertical enjoying life to its fullest. There were many highs and lows, but as I approached 60, my boundaries started to widen, and my spirits felt renewed. Personal changes were occurring, and as hubby and I decided to make a big life move, I felt as if I could hike my Matterhorn far more steadily than ever before.

Let me say now, I am definitely embracing 60 (even with all of the daily aches, pains, and creaky joints)! My sweet husband, with the help of other wonderful family members, threw a spectacular birthday surprise party for me (of which I did not want) but forgave him anyway because it all was wonderful. He put so much planning and hard work into it, complete with tiny lies for my sake. I felt humbled and honored by family, friends, and neighbors who brought so much joy to the gathering! It was as though magic happened, and once I actually turned 60, no more feeling down about it. The new number arrived and that was that. 

My other big 60 moment was stepping out of my comfort zone and finally getting a tattoo of which I have wanted for over a year. And get a tattoo I did! What better theme than a picture of the Matterhorn Mountain in relation to my memoir? This tattoo is deeply personal, and it is another way to advocate for migraine disease. I even made sure it has a splash of purple on top!  Not sure of the many different opinions and reactions there will be, but that doesn't matter.  It is special to me, and for that, I am grateful I had it done. My sweet goddaughter told me that not only does she "love it" but that she likes the fact I wear my "badge of courage" on my arm.  Well said, Monica. Thank you.

My recent time around the sun has been great overall.  My birthday wishes and celebrations have all been so meaningful, and I appreciate every one of them. Thanks to everyone for always making me feel special.  

 Life is hard. Life is messy. Life is beautiful. 

SURPRISE PARTY

SPRING IS HERE

..

       OH.YES.I.DID!

Creating space for a new story to emerge

Speaking from experience, I know firsthand what it is like to "make room" for a new story to unfold. It has been fourteen long years of living with the after effects of meningitis and shingles and ten of those years living with chronic migraine. Every year at this time my body remembers the physical and emotional pain of hospitalization along with its debilitating journey of daily struggling. It is my form of PTSD. This can be related to any kind of trauma our body holds tightly which can wax and wane over many years. It is nothing of which to be ashamed. It is what it is. 

The first six years of my illness I didn't really know how I was going to survive living with so many scary symptoms all the while trying multitudes of treatments and medications never knowing if any of them would really help. It was a very hard and dark season not only me but for my family. I thank the good Lord who provided MUCH support from family and friends and a headache specialist who cared about helping me get to a better place of management of migraine disease.

Here it is 13 years later, and I am excited to write a new chapter to my story. I do not wish to remain stuck in the difficult past dwelling on what was. It is not healthy physically or mentally. Making the physical move from CT to PA has been a positive start. I embrace the newness(yet familiar) because it offers a fresh start so to speak. It is a chance to turn in a new direction and walk into healing.

God has also provided me with another fantastic and kind headache specialist close to my home, and we are working together on a good treatment plan that keeps me functioning and enjoying much more than ever before. I am learning to "let go" of patterns of trigger fear so that I can fully embrace the joy of the moment.  Do I still take a variety of medications? Yes, for now. Am I tolerating the many side effects? Yes, for the most part. Do I still have to sometimes not participate in an event due to feeling too unwell? Yes, unfortunately so. This is acceptable. I am managing. 

The lesson I am learning is to allow myself to create space in my mind, body, and spirit to embrace my new story of healing. Little by little I am willing to be flexible and open to new opportunities by trying different treatments as well as trying new experiences and adventures that are placed in my path. Even though I experience flare ups and setbacks, I am now better able to respond in a more positive way instead of reinforcing old habits of doom and gloom. As I wrote in my book, Climbing My Matterhorn,  healing is not linear. There will be steps forward as well as backwards which is completely normal in any healing process no matter what the situation. More self awareness and self care directly influence my path forward instead of remaining stuck. Feeling stuck does not offer a full life. It offers a small, tenuous one. Decisions to grow do not happen all at once, but each day is a new opportunity to begin again.

May grace fall softly upon you today.

  

Wintering

In the Bleak Midwinter is a lovely poem written by the English poet Christina Rossetti and commonly performed as a Christmas Carol sung by many musical artists. I grew up in church singing this every year and came to love it. I encourage you to find it on YouTube and listen to it in its entirety. 

 "In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,

  Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;

  Snow had fallen, snow on snow,

  Snow on snow,

  In the bleak midwinter, long ago..."

I am wintering. My body, mind, and soul are preparing for the longer days ahead with gradual increases in light. I am tapping into quiet energy that will sustain me for the rest of January, February, and March before Spring arrives in 2024. 

After the hubbub of the holiday festivities and slowly recovering from the cooking, eating, and entertaining, my body is in need of REST. This year was so special hosting family and friends in our new home, and we all remained well and unscathed from the lurking viruses that are ever present around us.  

Currently I am choosing quiet activities of reading, writing, crocheting, and snuggling under my favorite blanket in order to reset my "slightly overstimulated" central nervous system. Winter evenings are sometimes spent with dear friends and neighbors sharing meaningful conversation and joy to lift our spirits which can easily find us in an occasional post holiday funk. These choices leave me feeling renewed and peaceful. Even when my head becomes cranky due to any number of triggers, I am tending to it carefully, and my body thanks me graciously for doing so.

I have experienced all four seasons here in PA which have seamlessly floated from one to the other.  WOW. It is hard to comprehend. It has been a very busy and exciting year of transition so slowing down my pace for the rest of winter is a needed intention. 

I offer you, my friends, to possibly take a look at how you might wish to "winter". Do you think your pace and activities might need another perspective for a few weeks or months? Can you observe the small, subtle lengthening of the days with the placement of light and shadows? How about the magnificent moonlight against the clear January sky? 

May you embrace grace in this new year no matter what journey (difficult or easy) lies ahead. God is with you always.

Countryside Calmness

 A year has passed since we left the Connecticut seaside and planted new roots in the countryside of central PA. What a year it has been! Five months Michael and I shared living space with my mom who was most generous while our house was under construction. Not every moment was easy and without conflict, but we learned, with much grace, that love and flexibility were the keys for a smooth transition.  

Winter, spring, and now summer have presented a new, calm rhythm and flow as we center ourselves in the green, lush farmlands, mountains, and open space of Boiling Springs, PA.  The not so long ago hustle and bustle of the CT shoreline is now being replaced with a more laid back pace. Lovely impromptu visits with friends and neighbors are easily welcomed, and Michael and I realize the timing of our move seems "perfect" for this next season of our lives. However, the friendships we grew and nurtured in CT remain ever close in our hearts.

Our new community in which we reside is full of friendly neighbors who are eager to chat and gather at a moment's notice.  Mike and I are learning the ins and outs of grilling homemade pizzas with our outside pizza grill so that we can offer some fun yummy treats with everyone (that is when we don't burn them)! Sharing time with life long friends is extra special in every possible way. Living much closer to family (almost everyone) bestows a great blessing upon our lives.  

Unfortunately, adapting to the unpredictable weather and storm patterns as well as the central PA heat and humidity has not been easy on my migraine body.  People are kindly inquiring if I "feel better" living here, but this is not the case.  I am grateful for my new headache specialist who is wonderful, but we have work to do yet.  More climbing my Matterhorn for sure!

I will remain an active migraine advocate while living here offering HOPE to others through education and my own personal experience. I am honored to do so as my own healing journey continues. 

"Harvesting healing is always a continuing journey because it springs up from deep within a soul. We must set an intention of moving forward no matter what and accepting the day for what it brings. It means accepting the good with the bad and the indifferent. It means looking at our precious chronic illness through the lens of a strong warrior because we can do hard things."

                                                  Lisa Aleo

                                                   Climbing My Matterhorn, My story of                                                                           meningitis, migraine, and miracles

Spring Awakening

Since we have recently entered the anticipated season of spring, I found a lovely poem by my favorite author, John O'Donohue, from his book "To Bless the Space Between Us:A Book of Blessings."

"Within the grip of winter, it is almost impossible to imagine the spring. The gray perished landscape is shorn of color. Only bleakness meets the eye; everything seems severe and edged. Winter is the oldest season; it has some quality of the absolute. Yet beneath the surface of winter, the miracle of spring is already in preparation; the cold is relenting; seeds are wakening up. Colors are beginning to imagine how they will return. Then, imperceptibly, somewhere one bud opens and the symphony of renewal is no longer reversible. From the black heart of winter a miraculous, breathing plentitude of color emerges.

The beauty of nature insists on taking its time. Everything is prepared. Nothing is rushed. The rhythm of emergence is a gradual slow beat always inching its way forward; change remains faithful to itself until the new unfolds in the full confidence of true arrival. Because nothing is abrupt, the beginning of spring nearly always catches us unaware. It is there before we see it; and then we can look nowhere without seeing it."

For me, the longer days of light, warmer temperatures, the assurance of blossoms and new growth, and the varied songs of the birds, give me joy and confidence that the rhythm of nature becomes awake inside my soul. 

What is your favorite sign of spring?

My pretty tulips and pansies from our garden in East Lyme, CT.  They make me smile.

Some beauty from Boiling Springs, Pa.

May we remember to be good stewards of the generous bounty of God's creation.

Lenten nuggets

As Henri Nouwen once wrote, "O Lord, make this Lenten season different from the other ones. Let me find you again. Amen."   Upon reflection----

L---eaning into fully knowing God's deep Love for me

E---xamining my own brokenness and exploring ways to heal that brokenness

N---ever forgetting the power of patience and purposeful waiting to see God's will in         my life

T---hanking God for His everlasting mercy and forgiveness which is never failing

I have decided to share little nuggets of my faith journey this Lenten season. They will be brief and simple compared to some of my previous ones when it seemed like I remained in one big loooooong and complicated Good Friday.  Many of those deep struggles I share in my book. 

This Lenten season may I have the courage and strength to help others walk their unique path of difficulty and questioning by offering my presence in whatever small way I am capable. 

If you would like to share your thoughts, please do so either on my blog directly or as a private message on FB or IG.  Joining with you would be my honor. Let me know how I can pray for you.

May we continue to reach for the light just like these pretty crocuses. 

New year. New home. New beginnings.

 Hello my friends! I have not forgotten my faithful followers! As you may know, the past few months have been delightfully chaotic.  Michael and I moved  from CT to PA in July, and it is crazy to realize we are in February of a new year. Part of the building process seemed long and drawn out, but overall, we crossed the finish line! Hooray!

I thought about blogging many times, but when I tried to sit down and collect my thoughts, I could not stay on task. I did not posses the bandwith to focus. While I write everyday in my journal, those thoughts have remained private for now. My yearning to reach out once again has been tugging at me for some time, so I knew I had to jump back in the saddle soon.

Michael and I are settling into our new lovely place and making it a home. It is our hope it will convey an atmosphere of peace, comfort, and welcome. We invite  friends to stop and say hello, and we would be happy to show you this beautiful area of mountains and farmlands.  

Moving has not been complete without the nuisance of meddling Mr. Migraine. In my fantasy dreams I hoped I could lose him in CT, but of course, my daily reality proves differently. I cannot seem to escape his tenacity of finding me wherever I go. Ugh. I am managing his unwanted presence with the help of medications, rest, yoga and another good headache specialist for which I am grateful. 

I am excited to have my very own professional office space in which to write and continue my migraine advocacy work.  My memoir was written mostly from my bed or the couch in CT, but my "next" book shall come to life in a more proper setting, I hope. 

"New" can feel scary and uncomfortable at times, and I have certainly experienced those feelings over the years to some degree. However, my perspective of new is currently uplifting, fresh, and rewarding. I am settling in quite easily as the familiarity of my surroundings brings joy. 

Sending warm wishes from central PA.

Little did I know when I was in high school this Allenberry sign would be a foreshadowing of my future many years to come. It is truly funny how life turns out. The 1980 picture was taken from my high school yearbook when I was a sophomore.   Yes, I am dating myself...

 

Our Appalachian style home welcomes you.  

My intentional pause

Here it is mid-October, and I find myself taking an intentional pause.  Life has been on a crazy roll since we sold our home and moved to Boiling Springs, PA.  My body and mind desperately need REST.  I cannot go on without renewal and restoration. 

I remain excited about my book publication and the positive reviews from migraine sufferers as well as from my dear friends and family who have been so encouraging along the way.  I know I need to be on top of marketing to a greater degree, but my energy has drained right out of me at a most in opportune time.  I humbly ask my wonderful readers to help by spreading awareness of my book to friends and family.  Thank you.

September 3 was such a joyous day from beginning to end. Our celebration in Illinois was marked by Patrick and Emily's wedding, and I believe there was no greater witness of love.  There was a small scare of a Covid situation right up until the special day, but all turned out well and nothing had to be cancelled.   We all breathed a sigh of relief.

Now true to my usual medical drama, the Saturday before we were to fly out on Tuesday, my lower back decided to go into horrible spams, and I could NOT walk.  I couldn't even turn in bed.  So, long story short, I had to take a little trip to our local ER by ambulance! I felt ridiculous but nothing was giving me relief and I knew I needed intervention or I wouldn't be able to fly.  Talk about an emotional freak out----yep---I had one.  Tests were ordered and thankfully I wasn't brewing anything weird.   I was basically diagnosed with bad muscle spasms.  I gave my sob story of needing "drugs" to anyone who would listen because my son was getting married and I had to fly!!  I got my way, and I went loaded with a pharmacy of pain meds in addition to my pharmacy of migraine meds. I sometimes wonder why traveling can't be EASY.  I look in awe of the people who jump out of bed, pack a suitcase, and then just go!  We laugh at our precarious scenario now, but we were not laughing then.  

The greatest gift was being able to enjoy a long day of celebration without having a M attack.  Not even the hint of one.  Of course, my body was happy on steroids which helped a great deal. Praise God. 

The other medical annoyance I have been dealing with for months has been a very unhappy gallbladder.  I certainly did not want that to act up during our week of celebration, but God kept me strong.  I knew time was ticking before it had to be dealt with, but I tried to ignore it.  I should know by now that approach never works for me.  So, two weeks ago I had another little trip to our local ER to have it removed.  It wasn't waiting for me to decide.  I was so tired from the past few months that I just did not want to deal with another thing.  Oh well...

I am healing, but as I wrote in my Climbing My Matterhorn book, healing is not linear.  It is up and down with what I can eat or not.  As far as post op pain, I really do not have any now.  I had excellent hospital care both stays.  I could not have been more pleased.  

Currently, Mike and I are enjoying watching our house come together with colors, some lighting, and some structural details that make customizing a pleasure.  Now Mike and I feel like our structure certainly looks more like a home.

Here are a few pictures from the wedding as well as our house.  I will continue to update as it continues to make progress.  We still think it may be early December before move in.  I imagine Christmas will be a bit chaotic unpacking boxes and not knowing which end is up.  Just moving into our home will be the greatest gift we could have this year with family around our table. 

A Book, A Move, A Wedding, Oh My!

Three exciting and wonderful events are happening in the Aleo household over the course of weeks and months.  I am in disbelief in a way.  So many "big feels" that it is difficult to process.  

The release of my first book, Climbing My Matterhorn, is a memoir about living with chronic migraine. I collected content from my journals over the past decade. This project took me several years to write, and my main purpose for writing it is to give encouragement and hope for those who suffer not only from migraine disease but any kind of chronic illness while still finding finding joy and fulfillment in one's life.   

The other adventure is our move back to PA after  having lived on the beautiful shoreline of CT.  Saying goodbye to dear friends is emotional, but saying hello to familiar faces and comfort places is heart-warming.  This is our first time building a home, and we are a "tad" bit overwhelmed with the process.  It is exciting to visit the house daily and literally watch every board, nail, and wire, carefully put into place.  There definitely have been glitches along the way but that is to be expected.  Fortunately, we are grateful to be living with my mother who is close to five minutes away from our new community.  This gives us the ability to check on the home easily.

The sale of our lovely CT home went smoothly, and a new young family has chosen to reside there. We are pleased that the process was not complicated which many sellers have to deal with. They will now put their mark on it and make it their own.

Our third anticipated event is our youngest son's wedding in early September, and we could not be more pleased with his beautiful fiancee' and her very lovely family.  We had the pleasure of flying to Illinois recently to spend time with the happy couple and meet her family.  What a blessing! We had a fun time, and were able to share in their lives for a few days. Their wedding date will be our 34th wedding anniversary as well as Patrick's 27th birthday.  Triple celebration for us!

This is by far one of the busiest season of our lives.  Thanking God for His good gifts and blessings! 

https://a.co/d/7gwSMmA

link for book on Amazon

If you would like to order my book for yourself or for someone you know who might need hope and encouragement for their particular chronic illness journey, you can find it on Amazon.  

I would like to offer a special thank you for all my wonderful people who have climbed this mountain with me and who never let me fall for one minute.  The climb has been grueling at times, but I am stronger for it.

 

From Digs to Dreams

 

Last year around this time we purchased new property in central PA to build our retirement dream home.  It has been an exciting year to plan and design a future dwelling place.  It has not been easy to wait for the actual start of the ground breaking because of so many delays and sorting out details, but the slow, unfolding  reality has given us more energy for reflection every step of the way. This is good. In a world where everything and everyone are in a hurry, our personal building process has its own rhythm and flow which is just right for us.  When we set our minds to it, the waiting is doable.

  We wait for the long, dark days of winter to finally move into the lighter days of spring where we can be transformed by nature's beautiful display of rebirth and renewal.  It is always a miracle to witness.  May we never take life of any kind for granted.  Ever.  

We, Christians, wait forty long days of Lent while fasting and praying for the Easter Season to begin.  We are preparing our hearts in different ways to celebrate Jesus' way to the cross and His Rising from the dead so that we may have eternal life.  May we never take this for granted.  Ever. 

Waiting can be a season of darkness and sometimes loneliness, but the gift on the other end of that waiting is full of beauty.  

What dreams are you waiting to come to fulfillment?  More importantly, when have you last allowed yourself to dream?  If so, have you shared those dreams with anyone? 

Take a few moments to dream today...

Hurry and Wait

 I have taken quite the hiatus from blogging and can't believe it has been almost three full months since my last post.  Life happens... Excuse number one---The busyness of the holiday activities keeps my mind and body overstimulated, and I don't have the energy to write.  Excuse number two---I walk into the beginning of the new year  exhausted from the holidays, so I end up not having much of a mind to blog.  Excuse number three---chronic migraine generally rules the day.  Excuse number four---my husband and I are completing house projects to prep it for sale which is still targeted for the spring.  Excuse number five---I am close to finishing a major project that has been in the making for years, and I plan on seeing it come to fruition in the spring as well.

First, I will relay our house building progress which has been, let's say, STALLED.  For various reasons, everything is delayed.  We are not in a hurry, but our excitement and momentum of planning and building has waned a "tad."  We are waiting for the permit, but our property has been staked out.   Yay!  This is at least positive.  Our exciting designs are pretty much completed, but they remain on paper at the present.  My husband and I feel like we are the race horses running out of the gate and made to come to a complete stop after half way around the race track.  This has been challenging to say the least.  We are trying our best to keep a good perspective while practicing a lot of patience!!

When people kindly ask about "how the house is coming along," they look at us as if we have six eyes because we give them our update and they aren't quite sure what to comment after that.  It is both amusing and awkward. 

My big project is a surprise for some but not for others.  This big baby has been growing for many years, and I soon want to birth it into the world.  The timing is crazy with what we have going on in our personal lives, but God's Hands are upon this, and His timing is perfect.  It has taken determination and a lot of grace to get this far.   

More updates to come with time...

Happy Valentine's month to all.

LOVE 

"There is a lovely idea in the Celtic tradition that if you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times.  In the kingdom of love there is no competition, there is no possessiveness or control.  The more love you give away, the more love you will have."        John O'Donohue---excerpt from the book Anam Cara.  

Giving praise before the breakthrough

Friends, I don't have to rehash the obvious.  This ongoing pandemic has been a huge burden to each and everyone of us in some shape or form.  Last year's Thanksgiving gathering was full of fear and unpredictability, and it meant many were alone and sad.  It was a situation that was impossible to really "fix."  Finding gratitude in those anxious-filled moments with few loved ones side by side was not easy.  It was more likely a prayer coming from the depths of our souls that might have felt hollow.  

The uncertainty of this virus and how it affects our lives has remained so even a year later.  We live a new normal which still feels strange, and behind our masks, there is a disconnect which can be uncomfortable.  Thankfully, we have vaccinations and good medical research to help us live better and take care of one another.

This year, hopefully, our Thanksgiving gathering of family and friends will carry less of a burden, and instead, more joy and laughter.  A positive focus is good, but many people are still grieving the loss of loved ones which has happened over the course of the unbelievably difficult year.  Hearts have been broken, and mending them will take time.

This year, as we join together, will we be able to give heartfelt praise before the long awaited breakthrough happens?  A season of suffering may be weeks that turned into months that turned into years.  In the middle of the fragile waiting, can we praise God for all of His precious gifts that He promises in His perfect timing?  More importantly, can we give ourselves grace while we try"?  

It doesn't matter if our table is "pinterest perfect" with all of the delicious traditions or the fancy dishes---no, it can look like a Charlie Brown spread with all sorts of mix-matched yummies and mix-matched guests.  The most important dish is LOVE.

Wishing you a blessed and peaceful Thanksgiving.

Blowing in. Blowing out.

 Thirty years ago my husband and I packed our belongings in Athens, GA and headed to the delightful and beautiful shoreline of Niantic, CT.  Our first son, Stefan, was barely a year old so we were exhausted new parents moving to a rental home with a baby.  Within a month or so hurricane Bob hit the East Coast with a vengeance, and we were totally unprepared for its wild and scary force of madness.  For a few days straight the storm raged with its gale force winds and torrents of rain which caused flooding in many areas of the state.  Power was interrupted for days, and I remember crying to my husband that I didn't like our new residence and wished we were back in GA.  What a crazy beginning to a new chapter of our lives that felt awkward and difficult at best.  

We survived the move and the mayhem of the hurricane and eventually settled into our new rental home.  I stayed home with our son, and my husband started his new job with Pfizer.   We found our new pace and rhythm (as much as one can with a toddler) and started making friends.  I took our son to community classes for moms and their toddlers which became a vehicle for finding my circle of support that became a lifeline.  I will be forever grateful for those kind and generous friends.  

We stayed in our rental for close to a year and then found our current home in which we have lived for thirty years.  When we moved, I was pregnant and about to give birth to our second son.  Life soon became VERY busy as we had four boys within five and a half years.  I look back on those days now, and it all seems to be a blur. Birthday parties were the best because we not only had the happy voices of our kiddos but also many other young ones of our friends.  Michael and I somehow possessed the energy needed to keep afloat which is still a mystery to us!

This home has been well lived in, and it has seen much joy and sorrow, sickness and health, and make-overs both inside and out.  It has been a blessing we could have never imagined.  Our family has formed lasting and meaningful friendships through the community, school, and church.  

Fast forward to a few days ago and our shoreline area was in the eye of hurricane Henri.  Meteorologists stated that we hadn't seen this bad of a storm since hurricane Bob thirty years ago.  We suddenly realized that was the exact storm which blew us in to CT!  Good heavens---was this a sign showing us we are to blow out of this state and head to PA?  Maybe so.

Happy and grateful to report that the storm turned and weakened from what was originally predicted for this particular region of the state so we were spared any real damage.  No flooding or high winds destroyed property or put anyone in harm's way.  Praise God.  It did not feel like the experience of Bob, but emotionally it was a tad bit unsettling.  

We are months away from leaving this home in CT, but the planning of building another home while packing and preparing to sell this one is all consuming.  The days are full of busy agendas, but having a new focus is exciting.  Thirty years ago we were busy raising children and building our lives as a young family.  Today we are writing a new chapter which will be in PA where we began our married journey.  Our hearts are happy as we will be arriving full circle in less than a year.   

Well, we have not "blown out" yet, so while we remain here in our lovely home we plan to make the most of our time visiting with friends and exploring different areas of the state we have never been.  My feet will continue to remain in the sand until someone whisks me away to the mountains and farms of PA.   For now, my heart is honoring the special space of not yet.