Sitting on the plane traveling to the Midwest, I smile and breathe more peacefully because I feel more confident and less anxious about traveling this time. I have had two past experiences of practicing the “M drill” and what that entails to survive my excursions. Actually I don’t just want to SURVIVE them, I want to THRIVE in them.
The biggest comfort this time was being able to enjoy the in flight TV which suited me perfectly. I got to put on the head phones and watch my favorite Hallmark station, and I actually saw a movie I hadn’t seen before! Win Win! This took up practically the entire flight time. I was well medicated for my M and I felt like I was a bit in la la land anyway.
The real challenge came when I had to navigate Chicago Ohare airport. Unbelievable. To say it is huge and busy and noisy is an understatement. We had a four hour or so layover so that was a real picnic. NOT. While the shops were fun to browse and the eateries kind of fun, that all wore off quickly. I was only amused for about an hour, and after that, I wanted to lie down for my nap and get quiet. I would walk around, then sit, then stretch and back up to walk again. Rinse and repeat for several hours. I had a few good cups of coffee as well to keep going!
People watching at an airport is quite the sport. I usually wonder where they are going, from where they came, and what is their particular story. Nowadays everyone is practically on their cell phones constantly and they barely look up to see where they are walking. It is kind of dangerous, actually, in a busy place like an airport. I kept my earplugs in and tried to block out at least some of the overbearing volume of all the sensory overload. I kept grounded and focused on keeping my body and mind calm. This time I was able to do so much better and easier than my trip in May. I realized that I have been preparing myself well for how I have to manage and navigate traveling with chronic M.
This experience of moving our son to another place so he can start his new adventures marks another momma transition. He is the youngest of four sons, and I truly can’t grasp the reality of how he arrived so fast to this present moment and opportunity. He has always been one determined and independent young child who grew up into one determined and independent young adult. He has a long road ahead of him with his program. God bless him.
Our home this summer has been full of life, crazy chaos, joy and laughter, and difficult messes as well. Every time I try and “prepare” for the next transition, I realize I am left floundering and unable. The transition just happens, and the key to coping is just going with it and adapting as best as possible. This is a valuable lesson I have learned living with chronic illness. By accepting what is and not fighting against it all the time, I allow space for the adapting and adjusting. As the tides grow bigger and scarier, I learn to adjust my sails and continue on.
