Into my desert with joy and hope

It happened again.  I go about my usual business after the holidays with finding new routines and embarking upon fresh goals----even in this crazy pandemic year-----and then before I turn around right, here is Ash Wednesday! 

 Last year I did not attend church to receive ashes because of the pandemic scare.  My entire rhythm and flow of Lent were completely "off."  I did eventually get settled into my habits of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, but to tell the truth, the looming fear of Covid took center stage in my heart and mind.  

Since this past year felt SO heavy in many ways, I have decided to enter this holy season with real Christ-like joy and hope.  I am not talking about the world's superficial offerings; they are short-lived.  Rather, I am easing into my desert by asking God to grace me with the courage to strip myself of any false narrative that may be hindering me from fully embracing His love.  

The other day I was filling up ALL of my pill boxes with a plethora of meds as well as supplements for chronic migraine. As much as I feel discouraged at times and frustrated at the amount of prescriptions I need to take just to "manage" my condition, I realize I am fortunate to be able to have them available as well as to afford them. 

If I take these necessary pills and shots and do so with a grateful attitude then I am joyful in my heart and spirit. It erases the negativity that is so easy to fall into such as the feeling of being "old" and sick. (My days feeling young and healthy are pretty much gone.) Letting go of "what if I get worse and the meds will stop working someday" is a fear I must release so I can remain hopeful. Experiencing certain flare ups with a very grouchy head and body requires a strong mindset that allows me time and time again to stay strong and ride the waves until I reach the calm seashore of which I eventually do. My attitude and perspective regarding all aspects of living with chronic migraine must be respected and honored as I walk forward day by day.  

Making my spiritual journey into Lent sometimes seems like a dark unknown, but I have forty days to walk towards the Light of the Resurrection.  Each year is a new experience filled with a holy expectation of God's love and mercy.  It is joyful.  It is hopeful.  It is peaceful.  

May your special time in the desert lead you to a place of renewed faith, joy, and hope especially knowing God will give you rest and calm for your weary souls.  

 @thegracealliance