Turtle crossing

“Slow and steady wins the race” says my kind and compassionate headache specialist.  He senses my frustration and impatience when it comes to living with and managing chronic M. He offers wise words that validate my feelings while also bringing hope to my situation.  For eight years I have been ingesting and injecting medicines, vitamins, and supplements galore.  I also wear non-invasive medical devices on my head that make me appear as some alien being on a Sci-fi show.   I do anything I can to help myself cope with all of it.  

In addition to the western medicines, I incorporate other alternative disciplines and therapies to aid in the whole treatment approach to healing.   I find it all to be very helpful.   I am deeply grateful for my wonderful and talented therapists who walk this journey with me. However, most days I just feel plain TIRED and SLOW.  Most of the medicines I take have nasty side effects which really zap any and all energy I may posses.  If it isn’t the pain cycles from the attacks then it is the meds that keep me kind of loopy and lethargic.    I NEVER get enough sleep or rest to feel I can keep up with the rest of the world.  

This is where I know my Dr is trying to show me that by slowly introducing new treatments over time that there is no one quick fix and that it is over the long haul I need to remain patient.   This being said, I mentioned in my June blog that I was a candidate to try the brand new Aimovig drug made especially for the treatment of migraines.  Hallelujah!  Well, I gave myself the first injection a little over two weeks ago, and I am seeing “some”results.  This is a preventive medicine that works over time and may take months for noticeable differences.   Again—-SLOW and steady wins the race.  

About a month ago, I was in my car traveling on a back road behind our middle school and I noticed a rather medium sized turtle trying to cross the road in front of me.  I stopped and waited until he safely reached his destination with his very slow and steady pace.   There were no cars behind me so I was not holding up traffic.  As he crossed, I thought about myself.   I feel OLD and SLOW most days.  I can’t exercise at the pace I used to.  My gait for walking is much slower.  If I go from sitting to standing I need to be careful or else I will get dizzy and faint like.  As I see my friends who are my age busy with keeping in shape, sometimes I feel frustrated and discouraged at my limitations.  However, if I look back on my journey, I can now see just how far I have come. 

 I decided to wait for that turtle because I respected his pace and purpose.  My tribe does the same for me too.  How grateful I am.  

I am being humbled by slowing down.  I actually see and hear and feel more of God’s magnificent beauty right in front of me simply because I am not sprinting by it.   I used to be more like the hare in the famous fable of the tortoise and the hare, but now I am certainly more like the turtle.  I guess this isn’t so bad after all.  

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. “.        James 1:12 (NIV). 

This is the ultimate race; I hope to finish this one well.