May The Road Rise Up To Meet You

My friends, this week I offer you my heartfelt Irish blessings in honor of St. Patrick's Day.  This beautful video with its gorgeous pictures and fabulous music accompaniment by my FAVORITE Cherish the Ladies will feed your soul.  I promise.  

Please take a few minutes to listen, breathe, and fill your spirit with some joy and beauty:

           May The Road  Rise Up To Meet You

           May the road rise up to meet you.

           May the wind be always at your

                                 Back.

            May the sun shine warm upon your

                                  Face;

              the rains fall soft upon your fields

                     and until we meet again,

           may God hold you in the palm of His

                                  Hand.


(Traditional Gaelic blessing).            

Transitions

I, for one, am not a particularly big fan of transitions.  Transitions usually make me feel uneasy and impatient and downright scared.  Grrr.  I would like to think that as I "mature", I could happily report that I am better with the whole "transitioning thing".  Well, not so much.  

Transitioning from one season to the next in regards to nature's cycles is both exciting yet frustrating.  I look forward to observing nature's beauty in its many forms as the earth undergoes continuous life-cycle changes.  The animals display different habits, the vegetation has succinct growing patterns, and the weather offers multiple fluctuations of some sort.  Some I like, and some I definitely do not.  

Speaking of weather, this is one transition that gives me great difficulty in ANY season---Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall.  The constant fluctuations in temps, barometric pressure, wind and humidity drive my poor chronic migraine body CRAZY.  I know for others who suffer from chronic illnesses that are weather-sensitive, this is one tough battle.  I.Get.It.  I really do.  

The month of March is upon us, and I am preparing myself for the big transition from Winter to Spring. Here in New England, it is cold one day and relatively mild the next with signs of new, green life popping up from the cold, dark earth.  It is fun to see!  I LOVE nature walks, but I get easily discouraged  when I feel all full of energy for my walk one day and then completely unable to move from all the pain the next. The days are growing longer and lighter which make for a "happier me" as I can look forward to a second walk after dinner with hubby!!  Yay!!  This starts our together time for the next few seasons on our gorgeous boardwalk by the beach.  

I am also transitioning with my treatments.  I am up and down, happy and frustrated.  I am transitioning between doctors and all that goes with that drama.  Never simple.  It takes A LOT of my energy to deal with my current health issues, but I know that if I just take a breath and surrender to God, He always guides my next steps which help me navigate through the constant maze of change.  

There are many transitions in life that bring us into new seasons which are full of growth and exciting new opportunities.  I could write a very lengthy blog post on this, but I will spare you.  I just want to invite you to reflect on the different transitions in your life that may be bringing you great joy out of deep sorrow or some that are just starting to give you a fresh perspective that may be coming from a bittersweet challenge.  

Currently, I am feeling like the little, green bud that is just starting to peek forth from the dark, cold ground.  It is just starting to "see" with a new perspective after having been longing for Light above the earth.  With proper time and nourishment from our Creator, it will, hopefully, offer some new blooms of beauty to be enjoyed by those around it.  

Happy Spring!!

Holy rest

Ahhhhh---rest---sleep.   Speaking from a worn out body that has been through some really rough times these past few years, I am so grateful for the blessing of rest.  Let me tell you, I am the queen of naps, rest, downtime etc...you get the idea!  Every single day, this body spends anywhere from minimal to moderate time (or more) in the horizontal position.  There are times when I colllapse onto the couch or bed in hopes of a peaceful rest or sleep only to find that they both elude me.  Ugh. 

While my chronically exhausted body just doesn't have sustained stamina due to my health issues, my emotional and spiritual sides desire rest as well.  I call it Holy rest.  When I am calm and peaceful interiorly, then I am not as burdened or anxious about what may be happening exteriorly.  I feel many of us could benefit from this, too.  We all carry burdens of some sort, and we all get weary and need rest.  

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."   (Matthew 11:28)

Thankfully as I compose this blog entry today, I found both physical rest as well as Holy rest which, for me, means peace.  I spent most of the day up in my bed due to an unfortunate migraine that had to be dealt with, but I was able to quiet my inner self through relaxation, breathing, and prayer, and I even drifted off into a pain-free slumber eventually (with the help of meds, of course).  Instead of my usual "hissy fit" over the blasted migraine ruining my plans and all the mess that ensues, I just accepted it and dealt with it in a peaceful manner.  By surrendering and trusting that God will totally care for me, I can fall into this Holy rest.  Believe me, this is YEARS in the making, my friends.  God is gracing me with a better attitude and the virtue of patience.  

I find that most people feel that rest is only for the weak and that many feel guilty about pursing it and giving it a proper place in their lives.  Do you give yourself permission to FIND and ENJOY rest; or do you push yourself to the brink before you realize that you actually need it?  

My writing today will be a brief one as I am still fuzzy and very wiped out from both the migraine and my meds.  However, I invite you to pause and think about how you might arrive at some Holy rest in your life.  See what method works for you.  Maybe it is prayer, meditation, reading, knitting, painting, coloring, walking in a favorite quiet spot or even just observing and taking in Mother Nature's beauty for a little while longer.

Our Creator carefully formed us to have and enjoy rest.  It is so refreshing and necessary while we climb our different landscapes and enter into the next season of our lives.  Rest helps us gather a new perspective and, perhaps, gain a more positive outlook even in the midst of our tiring circumstances. 

As we search and find our inner peace and quiet, let's then see if we can offer a small part of that to those around us.  It could help soften the loud and busy world. 

My own Super Bowl

While millions of viewers eagerly tune into the Super Bowl each year, "some" of us do not.  I will publicly just put it out there that I am one of those who fit into the "do not watch" category,  I actually never took a liking to football at all.  I think it is so rough and tough,  and I hate to see how men run around and tackle each other and players always, always, always get hurt.  UGH.  This is just not at all appealing to me.  That being said, I am not personally against anyone who loves to watch.  

Even though the game is on because my dear hubby is watching, I am beside him writing my blog instead.  So, in keeping with the theme of Super Bowl Sunday, I thought I would write about my own game, of sorts.  It is my way of not feeling left out.  

My Super Bowl participation on many days feels like an endless cycle of rough and tough plays that even with the best strategic plans in motion, I feel knocked to the ground and hurt.  I am played out physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.  The two teams who always play the game are Me vs. the big M.  It is quite the showdown at times, and believe me, the half-time show can get loud and rowdy as well!  (Hmmm, that sounds familiar).  

What I hate the most are the inevitable over times.  These darn things just drag out the whole big mess and make the game seem endless.  My over times can go on for days at a time.  Where the heck are the referees to bring things under control??   Seemingly, they are nowhere to be found.  Boo.  

Then comes all the Super Bowl food.  What is up with that?  Tons of unhealthy food and lots of beer except for the people who like you to believe they are actually preparing "healthy" snacks---yea, right.  Participating in my Super Bowl, I can say for sure I am not enjoying unhealthy snacks, beer, or otherwise.  No way.  The only thing I may get out of the dining experience is the joy of using paper plates because I am too sick and tired to use real dishes. 

One thing I can pretty much say for sure is the fact that all my dear loved ones root for me to win, hands down!  They hate to see how I feel and look after being tackled and beaten up for days and weeks at a time.  It is no party for my husband to watch.  He is always involved in the clean up in some capacity and somehow he patiently does so time and time again.  

Well, as I compose this blog entry, I do not know who will win Super Bowl 50.  I do not even know how wonderful and inspiring the half time show will be (or not), but I do know that at the present moment, I am NOT playing in my own game.  Nope, not tonight!  I ate some chicken wings and a little chili and a healthy, green salad.  Yes, I did!  But I am only drinking water and tea.  No beer for me.   Drinking ginger-ale usually means something else...

My friends, by the time you read this, Super Bowl 50 will be a game of the past, and I hope it was a great experience for all those who watched.  For me, I am planning some new game strategies to help better prepare for more wins.   

Out of the darkness and into the Light

As February comes upon us, usually here in Connecticut, it is a dark and dreary month.  However, this has not been the case.  I feel pleasantly amused and upbeat by the beautiful, sunny days with gorgeous sunrises and spectacular clear sunsets.  My overall mood is brighter and sunnier as well.  Nature's light is definitely good for one's soul.

Upon reflection about my upbeat mood and general singing and dancing about the house on some days, I realize it is not ONLY the Winter weather that has me joyful.  Nope, it is my ability to wake up and show up for my life once again.  These past few weeks have been a most treasured break from the annoying, relentless and unwanted guest who constantly barges his way in to ruin my plans. I  have told  him on no uncertain terms to "get lost" and "stay lost"!!   

Although my days are still carefully ordered by many limitations and my routine is quiet and simple, I am finding the ordinary to be quite extraordinary.  Truly.  The oppressive darkness of barely functioning most days with severe pain and feeling so groggy from the numerous meds has slowly been giving way to receiving and living in some light.  Let me tell you, it is AMAZING.  

The joy I feel while moving with greater ease, attending to house chores, cooking, baking, talking a little on the phone and holding conversations that MOSTLY make sense, is AMAZING.  Feeling like my tiny, baby steps are actually moving me forward is nothing short of AMAZING, either.  My body, mind, and spirit are being filled with a new energy and a new Light.  I feel as though I am entering a new season even though my chronic illness remains. 

My year of YES is taking off, and I am seeing the light ahead of me. I wish to become the best version of myself even while I traverse the stormy seas of my daily challenges.  Although I grieve a lot for the old me in many ways, I am trying to be positive about discovering a new me!  This year I do not want to focus on what I "can't do" but instead what I "can do".  I know it sounds simple, but it isn't always easy to put into practice when I experience my difficult to manage days.  

My dear friends, I want to offer you hope that through your struggles, you can live in the light if you keep searching for it.  I promise.   It just takes time and lots and lots of patience.  

I cannot begin to even attempt this change of attitude on my own.  It is only by the grace of God that sustains and strengthens me.  This Holy and penitential season of Lent provides me the perfect opportunity to concentrate on living in and shining Christ's Light.  I feel the Holy Spirit asking me to practice some laughter and levity as well as meditating on the way of the cross in preparation for Easter.  

"The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."   (John 1:5)

Snow day

Living here in New England usually means dealing with some type of winter weather.  This could mean a mixture of rain, sleet, ice, and or snow for months.  Those dark and dreary long days devoid of pretty sunshine can be a challenge to one's mental well being for sure.  However,  I still enjoy living in an area that has four distinct seasons because it helps me keep my flow and rhythm with the natural cycles of life.

We have been spoiled this winter with an unusually warm start and very little precipitation in the form of ice or snow, that is, until this past weekend.  Our first storm, Anna, came to visit.  Depending on where you live, it really wreaked havoc in many areas along the coast as well as in other states. In our specific location, we were fairly lucky.  We dealt with manageable amounts of snow, and our plows have been up and running smoothly.   We feel very grateful indeed.  

I, myself, feel grateful in a way that I haven't felt in years.   I actually can't recall a snowstorm in the past several years where I haven't been in bed for days on end with a "nor'easter" migraine.  The wicked and fast changing pressure system absolutely does me in and is a huge trigger for me.   I am unable to even vaguely "enjoy" the snow.  I might run and take a few pictures quickly before I medicate to have some nice memories, but that is about it. I Can't remember building a snowman, lying in the snow creating a snow angel, or throwing snowballs at my hubby!! (Well, I better be careful of that one. He does the shoveling of course! LOL.)

But this past storm, I celebrated!  Woo Hoo!  Hubby and I had a most relaxing and fun snow day.  We stayed inside attacking some long overdue chores, cooked and baked, watched old movies, and snuggled under warm blankets.  He painted while I knitted.  We talked and texted family members giving and receiving updates on the storm.  I smiled and sang and gave God praise.  I was peaceful in body, mind, and spirit.  

Is the last round of Botox working? I am hoping so.  How long will this little break of mine last?  I don't know, but for now, I am enjoying every second of it.  I hardly want to sleep because I just want to savor this calm feeling.   I will continue to give God praise for all of his blessings because a thankful heart is what sees His Hands taking care of our lives.    

Maybe I will go make a snow angel and celebrate!

And if you are able,  be thankful, and go make one, too!    :))

On second thought....

My year of YES

For the past couple of years I have been challenged with thinking of a "word for the year" to contemplate, pray about, and walk it out essentially.  This challenge intrigued me as another way to enhance my spiritual life and grow in my faith.  This word for the year was presented to me three years into my illness, so I first chose the word HOPE.  That word I hung onto with fervor (and of course still do!),  but I really let it lead me through the tough and confusing and weary days.  Last year I chose BRAVE as my word.  Boy, did I need to be and feel brave as my illness took twisted and scary turns, and I just kept feeling more helpless and weak and lost.   I learned that no matter if people choose the same word, that word's meaning can sure look different for everyone depending upon their specific circumstances and season in life.  God was revealed to me in deeper ways through HOPE and BRAVE for sure.  

This brings me to my word for this year---YES!!  I prayed a lot about my word, and I felt that God was asking me to say YES to my circumstances no matter what lies ahead for me personally or with my family.  My health challenges and struggles continue and even though I feel God has said NO to my physical healing for now, He wants me to say and live YES.  That seems like a tall order to me, but I am going to give it a go.  Our Blessed Mother said YES, and her YES changed EVERYTHING.   I have no doubt she was scared and frightened and confused too, but she offered her YES completely with complete trust.

I will try and offer my YES completely only with God's amazing grace.  I am going to say YES to new treatment regimens and doctors.  I am going to say YES to being more compassionate and gentle with myself and stop pushing my body and mind and spirit to the point of trying to "look strong".  Saying YES to letting go of expectations of myself or others that don't serve me well. I am going to say YES to offering my weakness and brokenness to God and allowing Him to do His work through the weakness---not inspite of it, but BECAUSE of it. 

I look forward to saying YES to more opportunities to good times with family and friends while pursuing more joy and laughter which have sorely been lost in me.  Living out YES will involve some interior changes that feel a bit scary right now, but that is okay.  I am taking it one day, one moment, at a time. 

Most importantly, my complete YES means giving THANKS to my God in EVERY circumstance.  Receiving His blessings with thankfullness and praise and a big YES is how I want to live my days.  

My friends, I pose the one word challenge to you.  Maybe you already have accepted it and are well on your way!  Yahoo!  If not, it is something to think about for the new year.   

                                          YES!!!