Farewell to Summer

 As the longer days of summer fade and nature starts its preparation for fall, the rhythm and flow of September is marked mostly by "back to school" themes and the anticipation of "busier" times ahead. If not prepping kids for school or attending school yourself, many new projects are on the horizon and can get started this time of year. The transition can still be a subtle one as the warmer days remain while the excitement of everything pumpkin and apples allows the thoughts of decorating and eating.  yummm. 

As my particular summer comes to a close, I reflect upon it as I do every season before stepping into a new one. June was a month of various activities and gatherings and lots of migraine advocacy which kept me busy. July became unbearably hot and humid for me, and my head and body were not the happiest of campers. I stayed inside the AC and ventured out for walks in the later evenings after our area cooled down a bit. The sunsets over the farmlands are peaceful and gorgeous.

August is nearing its completion, and I love to notice nature on the cusp of the next season. Pausing and noticing ground me and keep me focused on the daily presence of of the divine within me. It is a practice I began as I started my long healing journey with CM, and it comforts me to this day. 

This fall my hubby and I have college friends coming to visit, and we are so excited about hosting! In October we have a fun get-a-way planned to a new area so there will be lots of noticing for sure as we allow the freshness of different scenery to fill us. I will share some pictures and stories in a blog after we return.

Here is a sweet poem I discovered about the close of summer  by Patricia A Fleming

                                                The Summer's End

"The familiar rhythm of the cricket's chirps

create the soundtrack of each day.

Echoing Summer's end

And that Autumn is on her way...

And sharing all our hopes and dreams

As the future stirs us on.

Knowing as we sit on that late, August eve,

Summer's ending but her memory lives on..."

May this transition from summer to autumn be a smooth one filled with peace and grace.

                                                          

The joy of a rainbow

 "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change the things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution."

                                                                            Maya Angelou

When I saw a double rainbow in the sky the other week while walking in our lovely neighborhood, I tried to capture it with my phone camera. And while it is a fun thing to try to photograph, the picture can be a bit underwhelming. Unfortunately, a quick snap shot does not really do it justice. Standing in its colorful presence and taking an intentional pause to experience its beauty is what feels emotionally uplifting. 

While walking, I became aware of other neighbors who were both on foot as well as those stepping out of their homes to take pictures with their cell phones. It gave us the opportunity to talk about the beauty of its presence over our houses. The rainbow faded after a few minutes, but we all kept looking up and telling others to do the same. In some ways, it seemed as if no one had ever seen one before. 

In our world today so fraught with dissension, impatience, intolerance, and just plain meanness, let us try to be that beautiful rainbow in someone else's life because we all need to feel hope after the storm.

Offering HOPE through advocacy

As migraine awareness month comes to a close, I will share a few thoughts from my book, "Climbing My Matterhorn".  It is difficult to choose highlights, but since I have been relaying facts about migraine disease on social media all of June, I thought I would conclude with my personal perspective.

"In my humble opinion, the best way to understand our own journey of pain is to step into or alongside someone else's pain for a period of time. This unique perspective gives important insights into the same universal similarities and truths we all endure while walking our journeys. Our individual crosses are unique to us, but we can cope and persevere much in the same way together, which provides us with a united feeling of hope. This is what we are truly searching for, right? HOPE is never to be underestimated. Collectively, we can help one another deliver hope into the hearts and hands of those who need it---which means all of us at one time or another. 

This is the real reason I wrote my story. I knew my story mattered. It is important, and it is meant to be shared to offer hope and encouragement for others facing uphill journeys of a chronic disease---specifically, life with chronic migraine...I knew if I could ease the burden of one person's load, then writing my story would be totally worth it. This is my gift to the universe."

"Life is hard. Life is messy. Life is beautiful."

Climbing into a new decade

The BIG 60---gulp! For several months before turning 60 in April, I was having my share of little freak outs.  Sounds silly, but for some reason, I could not fathom facing a new decade.  To me, 60 just sounded "old".  It is all a matter of perspective with many complex factors involved.  People say that it is "just a number" and "who really cares"? Statements like those are relatively true, but I gave myself permission to muse in disbelief. 

My 50's decade was marred by the fact I spent much of it in a horizontal posture on the couch instead of vertical enjoying life to its fullest. There were many highs and lows, but as I approached 60, my boundaries started to widen, and my spirits felt renewed. Personal changes were occurring, and as hubby and I decided to make a big life move, I felt as if I could hike my Matterhorn far more steadily than ever before.

Let me say now, I am definitely embracing 60 (even with all of the daily aches, pains, and creaky joints)! My sweet husband, with the help of other wonderful family members, threw a spectacular birthday surprise party for me (of which I did not want) but forgave him anyway because it all was wonderful. He put so much planning and hard work into it, complete with tiny lies for my sake. I felt humbled and honored by family, friends, and neighbors who brought so much joy to the gathering! It was as though magic happened, and once I actually turned 60, no more feeling down about it. The new number arrived and that was that. 

My other big 60 moment was stepping out of my comfort zone and finally getting a tattoo of which I have wanted for over a year. And get a tattoo I did! What better theme than a picture of the Matterhorn Mountain in relation to my memoir? This tattoo is deeply personal, and it is another way to advocate for migraine disease. I even made sure it has a splash of purple on top!  Not sure of the many different opinions and reactions there will be, but that doesn't matter.  It is special to me, and for that, I am grateful I had it done. My sweet goddaughter told me that not only does she "love it" but that she likes the fact I wear my "badge of courage" on my arm.  Well said, Monica. Thank you.

My recent time around the sun has been great overall.  My birthday wishes and celebrations have all been so meaningful, and I appreciate every one of them. Thanks to everyone for always making me feel special.  

 Life is hard. Life is messy. Life is beautiful. 

SURPRISE PARTY

SPRING IS HERE

..

       OH.YES.I.DID!

Creating space for a new story to emerge

Speaking from experience, I know firsthand what it is like to "make room" for a new story to unfold. It has been fourteen long years of living with the after effects of meningitis and shingles and ten of those years living with chronic migraine. Every year at this time my body remembers the physical and emotional pain of hospitalization along with its debilitating journey of daily struggling. It is my form of PTSD. This can be related to any kind of trauma our body holds tightly which can wax and wane over many years. It is nothing of which to be ashamed. It is what it is. 

The first six years of my illness I didn't really know how I was going to survive living with so many scary symptoms all the while trying multitudes of treatments and medications never knowing if any of them would really help. It was a very hard and dark season not only me but for my family. I thank the good Lord who provided MUCH support from family and friends and a headache specialist who cared about helping me get to a better place of management of migraine disease.

Here it is 13 years later, and I am excited to write a new chapter to my story. I do not wish to remain stuck in the difficult past dwelling on what was. It is not healthy physically or mentally. Making the physical move from CT to PA has been a positive start. I embrace the newness(yet familiar) because it offers a fresh start so to speak. It is a chance to turn in a new direction and walk into healing.

God has also provided me with another fantastic and kind headache specialist close to my home, and we are working together on a good treatment plan that keeps me functioning and enjoying much more than ever before. I am learning to "let go" of patterns of trigger fear so that I can fully embrace the joy of the moment.  Do I still take a variety of medications? Yes, for now. Am I tolerating the many side effects? Yes, for the most part. Do I still have to sometimes not participate in an event due to feeling too unwell? Yes, unfortunately so. This is acceptable. I am managing. 

The lesson I am learning is to allow myself to create space in my mind, body, and spirit to embrace my new story of healing. Little by little I am willing to be flexible and open to new opportunities by trying different treatments as well as trying new experiences and adventures that are placed in my path. Even though I experience flare ups and setbacks, I am now better able to respond in a more positive way instead of reinforcing old habits of doom and gloom. As I wrote in my book, Climbing My Matterhorn,  healing is not linear. There will be steps forward as well as backwards which is completely normal in any healing process no matter what the situation. More self awareness and self care directly influence my path forward instead of remaining stuck. Feeling stuck does not offer a full life. It offers a small, tenuous one. Decisions to grow do not happen all at once, but each day is a new opportunity to begin again.

May grace fall softly upon you today.

  

Wintering

In the Bleak Midwinter is a lovely poem written by the English poet Christina Rossetti and commonly performed as a Christmas Carol sung by many musical artists. I grew up in church singing this every year and came to love it. I encourage you to find it on YouTube and listen to it in its entirety. 

 "In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,

  Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;

  Snow had fallen, snow on snow,

  Snow on snow,

  In the bleak midwinter, long ago..."

I am wintering. My body, mind, and soul are preparing for the longer days ahead with gradual increases in light. I am tapping into quiet energy that will sustain me for the rest of January, February, and March before Spring arrives in 2024. 

After the hubbub of the holiday festivities and slowly recovering from the cooking, eating, and entertaining, my body is in need of REST. This year was so special hosting family and friends in our new home, and we all remained well and unscathed from the lurking viruses that are ever present around us.  

Currently I am choosing quiet activities of reading, writing, crocheting, and snuggling under my favorite blanket in order to reset my "slightly overstimulated" central nervous system. Winter evenings are sometimes spent with dear friends and neighbors sharing meaningful conversation and joy to lift our spirits which can easily find us in an occasional post holiday funk. These choices leave me feeling renewed and peaceful. Even when my head becomes cranky due to any number of triggers, I am tending to it carefully, and my body thanks me graciously for doing so.

I have experienced all four seasons here in PA which have seamlessly floated from one to the other.  WOW. It is hard to comprehend. It has been a very busy and exciting year of transition so slowing down my pace for the rest of winter is a needed intention. 

I offer you, my friends, to possibly take a look at how you might wish to "winter". Do you think your pace and activities might need another perspective for a few weeks or months? Can you observe the small, subtle lengthening of the days with the placement of light and shadows? How about the magnificent moonlight against the clear January sky? 

May you embrace grace in this new year no matter what journey (difficult or easy) lies ahead. God is with you always.

Countryside Calmness

 A year has passed since we left the Connecticut seaside and planted new roots in the countryside of central PA. What a year it has been! Five months Michael and I shared living space with my mom who was most generous while our house was under construction. Not every moment was easy and without conflict, but we learned, with much grace, that love and flexibility were the keys for a smooth transition.  

Winter, spring, and now summer have presented a new, calm rhythm and flow as we center ourselves in the green, lush farmlands, mountains, and open space of Boiling Springs, PA.  The not so long ago hustle and bustle of the CT shoreline is now being replaced with a more laid back pace. Lovely impromptu visits with friends and neighbors are easily welcomed, and Michael and I realize the timing of our move seems "perfect" for this next season of our lives. However, the friendships we grew and nurtured in CT remain ever close in our hearts.

Our new community in which we reside is full of friendly neighbors who are eager to chat and gather at a moment's notice.  Mike and I are learning the ins and outs of grilling homemade pizzas with our outside pizza grill so that we can offer some fun yummy treats with everyone (that is when we don't burn them)! Sharing time with life long friends is extra special in every possible way. Living much closer to family (almost everyone) bestows a great blessing upon our lives.  

Unfortunately, adapting to the unpredictable weather and storm patterns as well as the central PA heat and humidity has not been easy on my migraine body.  People are kindly inquiring if I "feel better" living here, but this is not the case.  I am grateful for my new headache specialist who is wonderful, but we have work to do yet.  More climbing my Matterhorn for sure!

I will remain an active migraine advocate while living here offering HOPE to others through education and my own personal experience. I am honored to do so as my own healing journey continues. 

"Harvesting healing is always a continuing journey because it springs up from deep within a soul. We must set an intention of moving forward no matter what and accepting the day for what it brings. It means accepting the good with the bad and the indifferent. It means looking at our precious chronic illness through the lens of a strong warrior because we can do hard things."

                                                  Lisa Aleo

                                                   Climbing My Matterhorn, My story of                                                                           meningitis, migraine, and miracles